George Carlin's Take on Abortion
Warning: this has not been edited and contains strong opinions & language
Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, huh? Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.
Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach "military age". Then they think you are just fine. Just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life... pro-life... These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What, they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don't like them. They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state.
You don't see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do. And, you won't see a lot of these pro-life people dousing themselves in kerosene and lighting themselves on fire. You know, morally committed religious people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a goddamn demonstration, didn't they?! They knew how to put on a fucking protest. Light yourself on FIRE!! C'mon, you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke. To match that fire in your belly.
Here's another question I have: how come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens... See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cuz chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don't see a chicken strapping some guy to a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn't happen. 'Cuz chickens are decent people.
But let's get back to this abortion shit. Now, is a fetus a human being? This seems to be the central question. Well, if a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them? If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral? If a fetus is a human being, how come people say "we have two children and one on the way" instead of saying "we have three children?" People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process. Continuous, just keeps rolling along. Rolling, rolling, rolling along.
And say you know something? Listen, you can go back further than that. What about the carbon atoms? Hah? Human life could not exist without carbon. So is it just possible that maybe we shouldn't be burning all this coal? Just looking for a little consistency here in these anti-abortion arguments. See the really hardcore people will tell you life begins at fertilization. Fertilization, when the sperm fertilizes the egg. Which is usually a few moments after the man says "Gee, honey, I was going to pull out but the phone rang and it startled me."
But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins, and not every egg makes it that far. Eighty percent of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are fertilized eggs. So basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who's had more than more than one period is a serial killer! Consistency. Consistency. Hey, hey, if they really want to get serious, what about all the sperm that are wasted when the state executes a condemned man, one of these pro-life guys who's watching cums in his pants, huh? Here's a guy standing over there with his jockey shorts full of little Vinnies and Debbies, and nobody's saying a word to the guy. Not every ejaculation deserves a name
Now, speaking of consistency, Catholics, which I was until I reached the age of reason, Catholics and other Christians are against abortions, and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals?! Leave these fucking people alone, for Christ sakes! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion! And the Catholics and Christians are just tossing them aside! You'd think they'd make natural allies. Go look for consistency in religion. And speaking of my friends the Catholics, when John Cardinal O'Connor of New York and some of these other Cardinals and Bishops have experienced their first pregnancies and their first labor pains and they've raised a couple of children on minimum wage, then I'll be glad to hear what they have to say about abortion. I'm sure it'll be interesting. Enlightening, too. But, in the meantime what they ought to be doing is telling these priests who took a vow of chastity to keep their hands off the altar boys! Keep your hands to yourself, Father! You know? When Jesus said "Suffer the little children come unto me", that's not what he was talking about!
So you know what I tell these anti-abortion people? I say "Hey. Hey. If you think a fetus is more important that a woman, try getting a fetus to wash the shit stains out of your underwear. For no pay and no pension." I tell them "Think of an abortion as term limits. That's all it is. Bioligical term limits.
Since I've retired I take great pleasure to awaken slowly listening, stretching, yawning, curling back up and stretching again. Today Mother Nature added something special ... rain! Oh, how I love to listen to the rain. I find it clears my mind and taking a deep breath and gentle blowing it all out as the rain taps my window centered me and I was ready to tackle the day. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a schedule or anything pressing, I have only those things to do I love ... laundry - don't you just love the smell of clean sheets? Cooking - a great day to crack open the kitchen window and crack open a new cookbook, too! Reading - listening to the rain while turning pages of a good book ... priceless!
I hope you found some pleasure on this rainy day.
I remember a kinder, smarter, and less scared America. I'm not here to debate this and my political views are probably obvious. But, it's not about that. I ask you, can you honestly sit back and think America is the greatest country in the world? Do you think dividing our country, creating hate, living lies, and pointing fingers at each other is working? I recently read a post on Facebook about a fact checking app offering to research FOR YOU before you post. In reading the comments a woman asked "Who's (sic) facts?" Huh?
Beep, Ding, Squeak
Have you even listened? I mean, really listened? Some days I feel overwhelmed by the noises around me. Some days I don't even notice. Today, I noticed.
Is It Really Sunday?
Now I get it. A year ago June, my husband, Tom, retired. I was working part time and all was good. Then, I retired from my part time job. With the pandemic the days of the week already ran together but when I added retirement to that, I started to understand why Tom continued to tell me he thought it was a different day.
Now that we're in our seventies and both retired it is easy to wonder what day it is. I fill my days with swimming, yoga, and tennis and each activity has its own day and time so I was still somewhat on schedule. I like it that way.
We manage to busy ourselves with our little routines, house projects, neighborhood walks, Netflix, and PrimeVideos, but I still have to look at my Fitbit to see what dang day it is.
What day is it again?
It's Football Season!
While I am not as addicted to football as Tom, I do love to watch my Alabama boys play! OK, so sometimes I fall asleep, especially when the game run past my bedtime. But, nonetheless, when it comes to Alabama football, I'm there.
When Alabama isn't playing I'm not watching. Tom, on the other hand, will watch just about anything from an *ahem* Auburn game to teams I have never heard of. It's not just one game either, it is one after another. Fortunately, he uses headphones so my peace and quiet remains just that. Do I mind? Not at all. In fact, it amuses me when out of the blue (remember, he's wearing headphones) I hear an outburst that reminds me he is still sitting in his chair being amused or annoyed by some play.
Enjoy, sweetheart ... we have other televisions, tablets, laptops, and phones ... and books, too!
This, too, will pass.
Why is cat litter scented? I mean, really, do people really want to smell floral scented cat deposits? Just scoop the deposit and move on. I can’t imagine the cat deposit stinking any longer than a humans once the source of the odor is removed.
Have a pacifer-using child? How about removing the gadget before snapping a picture? I can’t tell you the number of pacifier-pusses I see on Facebook. OK, I’m old and my children didn’t use pacifiers so I am biased but I would sure like to see a lovely toddler smile without a gadget. Say Cheese!
I am one of those annoying people who drive the speed limit – well, most of the time. I drive in the right lane leaving the left lane open to pass. Yeah, it’s the law – slower traffic keep right. So, the next time you pass me, please refrain from flipping me the bird because I’m not speeding like you. And, thank you to the most recent speeder who showed me how karma works. Hope you have the cash to pay your ticket.
Is Hindsight Really 20/20?
I often hear people say "hindsight is 20/20" but I question that. If it were, why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over? Even my own hindsight doesn't always help me for decisions and I find myself doing the same stuff, just on a different day.
From wars to personal relationships ... who is really looking backwards to find an answer for going forward?
I will say, however, that I have learned a few things along the way. I'm not sure if I would consider it hindsight or experience ... or is that the same thing? I'm older and "wyser" now ... I've learned to look at some things a different way. Is that hindsight? Beats me.
I look at how we, as a people, treat other people and I know we have not learned squat. History is repeating itself. We have not learned. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I look at how we, as a people, have become unhealthier than our grandparents. I know my grandparents saved faithfully. I know they lived within their means. I know they didn't blame anyone for whatever problems they faced. Maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I don't think so. They cared about their friends, neighbors, family, and I don't recall race or religion really playing a big part in just BEING NICE. When did common courtesy become such a chore? When did we stop caring for one another?
Have you looked at our medical profession lately? If we are "working" on a cure for cancer why aren't we closer? Is it because there is more money in being sick? I don't get sick often but I'm not a idiot. If I need to see my doctor, I will, but it's usually to have a confirmation about what I think. My doctors - a hand-picked group - know I will seek alternative care over a prescription 99% of the time. They respect that and if they don't, I keep shopping. I prefer to address any problem with meditation, essential oils, rest, proper diet, and exercise. Will I take medication? Of course, if it's warranted. I know what I think. What do you think? Do you always follow your doctor's advice? Do you know about better ways to tend to your own well-being?
It's not easy. The right things rarely are. Of late, I have been researching food ... oh, I know processed food is crap. Fast food is crap ... I expect it to be. But when 'normal' food is crap, I have a problem. One should no longer dismiss food as a cause of their problem. We, as a people, should not accept substandard 'food' without question. Headaches, digestive problems, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, allergies, autism, and a host of other 'normal' sicknesses. People!! This is NOT normal!! We should feel great EVERY DAY!
I have seasonal allergies ... my nose runs, my eyes and ears itch, I have a cough that just won't quit and often I have a headache. The madness MUST stop and only we can do it.
I found a YouTube video that explains it rather well. The woman of five, also a biochemist, has a daughter with autism. Her findings are astonishing! And, yes ... it's all about the food we are not only eating, but feeding to our children.
Watch the video and make up your own mind ... I've made up mine.
Who Am I?
I am what I am ... nothing more, nothing less. It's not that I know more than anyone else ... it's just that I've lived longer than a good many and have experienced life. I am a people watcher, a listener. I don't judge ... we all have a journey ... thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you.