Over the years my mother would say things I didn't understand until I was older. Now that I am ... I will share some of her wit and wisdom. Of all the things my mother loved intelligence and humor were critically important to her. She was a masterful debater and could take on anyone any time, especially the clergy. She considered herself a theologian and left more than one man of the cloth with a dazed look and shaking his head. Never had I ever heard her debate about something she did not know. For instance, baseball. Nope, she would only tell you what a waste of time it was. She had no patience for team sports preferring individual sports like ice skating (couples allowed in this case), gymnastics, but never golf.

She had no patience for stupidity and realized early on that stupid people came with all types of degrees. College doesn't make you smart, life experience does.

So, here are a few quips that laced my childhood:

• When confronted by idiots ... "Those of us who are superior can afford to be gracious."
• When I told her my high school sophomore friend, Paulette, was engaged ... "Doesn't she find it difficult to walk?"
• When asked if she had a nail file ... "No, I usually throw mine away."
• Regarding masturbating ... "if God hadn't intended for you to masturbate, your arms would be shorter."
• Regarding guilt ... "Guilt is a wasted emotion."
• When I was a child and wanted something, she said, "No." When I continued by saying it was free, she responded, "So is syphilis." I had to look it up. Gross.

Noteworthy tidbit. The picture of my mother seen here was one she provided me to put on her Match.com profile. She was 72 when she requested that from me. She was not 72 in the picture but her reasoning was that a man wouldn't even notice.